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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

The Cuplets of Fire

by Muggle Snuggle

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1.
Milk Snake 05:03
Awoken by his bad leg Frank filled the kettle for his (hot) water bottle Sees a fire inside the Riddle House Limping across the garden and brandishing his stick Rusty key gripped with palsy Off to the back through the cook’s door Smell of decay through the kitchen to the hall Muffliato by means of thick dust on the floors Where is Nagini? She needs to be milked! Feed the Voldy from the snake teet If Wormtail leaves, Voldy will be abandoned He is revolting… |:“I am a faithful servant…” But WHO will MILK Nagini?:| Sssssssssssssssssss Frank crept down the hall Hand pressed to the wall Hearing words like “muggle” and “Quidditch” Is there wax in his ear? Or is this something like a spy? Something bad’s going on and I don’t know why SSSSSSSSSSSSS Nagini slithered right by him Sweating and trembling Inside they’re talking to the snake Yes Nagini has let them know the old muggle caretaker, Frank, is listening outside door Now fire fills the room What’s that you’re calling me? A Muggle!?! Because, you are no wizard sir I am wifeless And soon I may be lifeless But I am a man of honor And I will stand my ground HsssssssSssssssss Nagini….. Dinner…. Awoken by the scar on his head Harry filled the kettle for his tea Was that a dream? Or maybe more of a vision Fire inside…. What house? The Riddle house? Back to sleep, forget it all once more
2.
Petunia, Petunia, she wants to ruin ya A grapefruit quarter - not what I ordered! Cottage cheese, more, please?? Celery shreds? We haven’t been fed. Children need sustenance! Our bellies full, our thirst quenched Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Potassium - check✓ But I need protein And carbohydrates! Dudley, oh Dudley, we can all agree You’re still growing, metabolism not slowing The nurse is wrong - your body’s strong Diets are scams. Let’s get you some yams Nutrition and fitness are key We need fats and kilocalories Calcium, vegetables Magnesium too Let’s get some pasties And pumpkin juice Harry oh Harry you should be wary Of your chatter ‘cause words really matter Show support - be a good sport Be gentle to him - he is your kin Family needs allies too Eye for an eye is how your uncle would choose Offer some cake - you have like 8! Throw him a bone - a literal bone That’s full of chicken And tarragon
3.
You’re JOKING!” said Fred Weasley loudly. Dumbledore chuckled appreciatively. “I am not joking, Mr. Weasley,” he said, “though now that you mention it, I did hear an excellent one over the summer about a troll, a hag, and a leprechaun who all go into a bar...” A troll, a hag, and a leprechaun all go into a bar. There was a bad smell, or maybe two, we couldn’t tell them apart. The troll smelled of rot, The hag smelled like trash, The leprechaun at its height realized it was a fart.
4.
5.
On est tout en bleu Vous allez nous aimer Notre grand objet au ciel Ce n’est pas de balai (ballet) Une grande maison en bleu pastel Conduite par des chevaux palominos Énormes comme des éléphants Leurs sabots tous larges comme des assiettes Avec des yeux rouges flamboyants No-tre maîtresse est géante On est tout en bleu Vous allez nous aimer Notre grand objet au ciel Ce n’est pas de dragon Vous voyez notre armoirie Deux baguettes croisées, Lançant trois étoiles dorées Lonicera Aloysia Urtica Nous sommes Beauxbâtons L’Académie aux Pyrénées On est tout en bleu Vous allez nous aimer Notre grand objet au ciel Ce n’est pas de maison L’une des trois écoles magiques En Europe c’est le nôtre Nos cours nous donnent la sagesse Érudit, rigoureux, et acharné (Studious, rigorous, relentless) (music interlude) On est tout en bleu Vous allez nous aimer Notre grand objet au ciel Ce n’est pas la lune Allez les bleus!
6.
Common Welsh 00:49
7.
Fred and George grew mighty fine beards Don't step a toe 'cross that line Oh look, he dived right in I did warn you Fred and George grew mighty fine beards Better than Fawcett and Summers
8.
9.
Krum 02:18
едно две три четири Krum! he vas at hogwarts Krum! Zat Bulgarian Bon Bon He vas Krum And he vas at Hogwarts Krum vas from Durmstrang He vas a Strong man Chest hair unt dat He vas Krum and he vas Viktor-yes! Ze first task vas a little bit hot All ze way from China His dragon he fought A Krum-Brule? A close one for Krum! He knew he had to go into ze lake On the 24th of February It vas cold But not too cold for Krum! In the Black Lake He had a face like a shark Many Teeth (zo many) And zen the saw ze Grindylows And zey hurt Fleur Delacour He knew his fate vas sure He blasted ze Grindylows And got his prize Which vas HERMIONE Hermione!(Hermione) Hermione!(Hermione) In ze black lake He found her No fear of Grindows (whisper) He vas a Champion! Kruuuuuuummmmm
10.
11.
These boys, they always need my help I don’t protest much but when I do they gripe I wish they’d help me out just once But I’ve got the best marks Crookshanks will back me up Even Snape would agree under Felix Felicis Ooh ooh Ooh ooh This place is full of obstacles Stuck underneath this bewitched glass ceiling (It’s not real, the glass ceiling. It’s just bewitched to look like the night sky. I read about it in Hogwarts: a history.) I wish they’d stop oppressing us Despite our best attempts Achievements unrecognized Our roles are taken out of Hogwarts: A History Ooh ooh Ooh ooh (Transition with odd notes intertwined to make the frustration build) (Sudden rock smash time - Electric guitar D G A chords, tambourine/taps off beats, bodhrán/snare on beats) I’ll smash this wizard world to dust My wand is stronger than yours and I polish it better too You wish you had a bigger brain Witches help witches up (leviosa!) Cho, Ginny, Molly, Fleur No time to live under imperio willfully ignorant Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey
12.
Jag kommer från Sverige. jag vill inte ha lasagne Vad ska jag äter? En trollkarl - Cedric, han heter!
13.
Breathe 04:26
14.
15.
Dark Mark in the sky Fired from her job Working in Hogwarts kitchen Yet really missing Crouch She can make all the food she wants, But Winky is drunk Took care of a convict Never let his secret slip of Bartermius Crouch, Jr. Whose mother took his fall Polyjuice potion and an invisibility cloak are ok if your dad works at the Ministry She must hide all your cheats and lies So Winky is drunk Hermione wants to help A misguided ally Trying to force the elves to demand a living wage S.P.E.W. can't solve this issue of the powerless oppressed (Instrumental) Ba da ba da baaaaa (echo) F Butta butter beer (echo) Butterbeer Tis strong for a house elf (Sir) She goes through six bottles a day now And Winky is drunk Winky is drunk (Winky is drunk)
16.
Cuplet 00:37
In the delicate hand of the House Elf named Winky, She carries her butterbeer for the occasional drinky. By “occasional” we really mean all of the time.. Can she really be expected to fight for her dime? Though the cup that she uses is more of a cuplet, To drinking whole bottles she can commit. With her cuplet in hand and always full She gets less work done than old Errol. Put down the cuplet now, little elf, Stand up for all House Elves, especially yourself.
17.
18.
I hate being poor I hate being poor Leprechaun gold Yeah I hate being poor I hate being poor I hate being poor 37 galleons Yeah I hate being poor We hate being poor We hate being poor We want a joke shop Yeah we hate being poor Leprechaun gold disappears Leprechaun gold disappears 37 galleons to the Goblins 37 galleons to the Goblins A joke shop in Diagon Alley A joke shop in Diagon Alley I Hate Being Poor I Hate Being Poor I Hate Being Poor I Hate Being Poor bonus content: I can't afford a dozen donuts I'm scared of my taxes My Night Guard broke I can't even drive my car
19.
Fiery cauldron, Gleaming like diamonds Revolting beast With gleaming, red eyes Brew the potion “Bone of the father, unknowingly given, you will renew your son! Flesh of the servant, willingly sacrificed/given, you will revive your master. Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken, you will resurrect your foe.” Fiery cauldron, Gleaming like diamonds Revolting beast With gleaming, red eyes Vile blue potion Blood red potion Bright white potion To resurrect the dead Pater desit in os nescius Filius tuus et renovate - Servus auten carnes libenter dedi sset Tibi domino tuus vivifica - Hostibus eripitur Sanguine Resurgent te hostis tuus

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released February 24, 2024

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Muggle Snuggle Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Kait Weasley and Mermanda struggle through their muggle lives and find their magic through music (beyond all they do here).

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